Cheers to the “Easy” Friends | The Champagne Supernova

Cheers to the friends you call after several months of not talking and the next thing you know, three hours passed.
— Read on thechampagnesupernova.com/2018/03/cheers-to-the-easy-friends/

I remember a friend talking to me in my twenties. She said “you can only count your true friends on one hand”. I had gone from having no friends to being called social butterfly. When she said that I didn’t want to believe her. Though I still sometimes want to believe that it’s not really true. That maybe it’s at least two hands.

I’m lucky to know I have many #faroutstars here there and everywhere.

#Faroutstars to kya

www.youtube.com/watch

Watching the other Sera this morning, I am reminded of the old sarah that I used to be. Speaking my truths standing up when others couldn’t. Saying so many swear words that my boyfriend said “it sounds so wrong coming from someone so sweet”. Now I probably followed that quote with a quote of my own with my favorite swear word that I used a bit too much at the time. But I thought oh he thinks I’m sweet! Out of respect for him myself and others, I have silenced or refrained from using my expletives over and over. Though it doesn’t mean they are silent. They are always there. Though they may not be spoken. In some settings they are spoken more loosely. In moments when I don’t feel I have to be so guarded and worried about what others think. Truth of the matter is I enjoyed saying whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and thought if others have issues with my words that is their issue. To some degree I still feel that way. Though over time I have come to realize that wise wisdom that the more one knows the quieter they become.

Swear words are beautiful. Powerful creations. Just like me. Similar to the ways in which I used them in my youth. For me they helped describe define or deflect many many things. They helped me emphasize understand and believe that I had a place to explore this world in whatever way I wanted while using whatever words I chose to use. Words do have power. Once spoken they are hard to remove from the air. Once written they are hard to erase from the page or digital world. They are all important. They all have value. Some moments they can release so much for so many. As I listen to this young women who has inspired me and our daughters, I see my friend. Though years pass and we connect in disjointed random moments. A true gift is when Time stands still between friends. My friend will forever be my friend who helped me embrace one of my favorite words. As that word has been used more and more openly I will always think of her. Wether it’s our president a sitcoms our children their friends our friends me I will always be taken back to those glorious days of my youth. When I embraced the word and my own special private parts. As my child sees Jackie on the renewed Roseanne wearing a pink crocheted hat and she says “I don’t like those hats”. I hope and pray that some day she embraces the word and her own special parts they represent to say it, enjoy it, embrace it, pleasure it, protect it, celebrate it and when you stand for yourself others and the world that it is a true part of who you are and makes you the special person you are! Go women go! Go men go! We are all FarOutStars embracing our own special parts to deal with this life that can sometimes be full of shiate!

March

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we had an unfortunate march experience. I let gigi determine where to go and when. Which means we didn’t really march. We missed all of the marches. So frustrating to me and everyone else. I think she must have mis understood. The march probably started earlier and marched from lot 56 to the square whereas going off misinformation we walked to 56. The whole time everyone frustrated wondering where the hell the march was. Frustrated that chris really didn’t seem to want that to be his focus for the day. I guess the garage needed attention. But really a nap was needed.

Me to me.

As March comes to a close I feel a mixed bag of emotions. I’m not ready to give up the month of me. I feel like I need more time for me to do what I want.

Should the month of me role into April and keep rolling til August.

One minute chris seems to understand some of my needs and wants. But it soon moves to his needs and wants. For example I really want to go see some property. But instead we spend a day clearing and burning at someone else’s property. Then this week my request for him to not go work at the harrisons cabin. I had to justify why my focus continues to be on office not our garage. He wants me to retire. He seems to struggle to consider my wants hopes and fears. Similar to my brothers he wants to question my decisions on what to focus on or how I should do the things that I am doing.

Attempting to find my voice and build my support team continues to be a challenge for me and our children. I attempt to set boundaries and they get blurred. I am attempting to determine my options what my future will bring. As those around me seem to want everything to remain the same without consideration for what my dreams and hopes are. I have to admit this makes me dream past theses days and years to when will I get to do what my dreams and hopes are. I am attempting to think of dreams and hopes that can transfer to other places. Though others won’t consider some of my thoughts. It’s as if I don’t really have a choice. A big chink of my 401k came from my parents. At least half of it. Therefore I have considered using up to half on what I want. IE stocks for kids after our death. Cash to get us through summer and maybe the next two years. Buying out of the business. Starting s new business. Going back to school. Searching out my birth records. Starting a new business. Buying property. Participating in community in new ways. So many options. At times I feel like I have so many options. And other times I don’t feel like I have any options. As I attempt to get jobs only to get the run around in the same way I have given the run around. Only one place seemed to consider me. Maybe now I will reconsider returning to working with children. May not be the best opportunity for maintaining or advancing finically. But I could use some of my skills that could benefit me and the children. Work with purpose. While continuing to network parent and manager pieces of the current business I am currently managing. For five years I attempted to manage the pieces and my time in the way I wanted. I was not able to get the support I needed to do that. Will this phase be different. So that I can find some peace in managing many of the complex pieces of the business only for others to assume someone else is doing them or understands them. Or I have to do all the work and then have others present it so that it’s valued. Sounds like a #faroutstars situation. A bunch of full of shit.

#Faroutstars

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In the morning I take tome to stretch and read some news. Or other random stuff. I try to keep it well rounded. American news other countries news some time hop some social media. Even an onion article here and there. Sometimes I get frustrated when I am ready something only to find that it’s a joke. I guess that’s good. It reminds me to consider the source. As our world changes in so many ways I am reminded of the ethics discussion at the interactive media conference. Many of the things discussed are playing out. Some good some made. Social media has caused political uprising that have taken over dictator regimes. Maybe to have another dictator take its place. I’m sure it has mobilized terrorists. But at times it has motivated many to know they are not alone in whatever they are thinking no matter where they are.

Though I am not happy to find that other countries interfered in our elections. On one hand it surprises me on the other hand it does not. I am still frustrated that we didn’t jump on some of the concepts and ideas that I learned. I do find some comfort knowing they were not using our systems to manipulate our countries people. We all know our paper has been a product for a big portion of our population. Though advertisers over the years choose to not spend to reach these populations. We know they were missing out on some populations. And choosing more expensive advertising options to reach them. So as our product disappears, other products may replace or reach them other ways.

I do wonder how long we should keep this rack company. Will it have any benefits or will it just wear us down like the paper did. What will become of the stickers. It is a bit frustrating that chris and is work continues to undervalued at times. We don’t feel we have the freedom to do whatever we want. Whereas those around us seem to have the freedom to do just that. Though in the last discussions our pieces fall under our corporations but other pieces do not. Once again surprising. Life continues to surprise me.

You have a right to change your mind

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At one point I wanted to be a lawyer. Then I realized I didn’t think I could represent someone who was guilty. My uncle said it’s not always about getting someone off. Sometimes it’s more about getting them a fair trial. I still think I would have loved the research aspect. But develop my arguments and representing clients in court would have been tough for me.

Trump would be a particularly difficult client. It’s still so surprising that he is our president. And if any of these charges cause impeachment. Then our representation will be pence. Of my. I do think other countries are watching and thinking good luck with that.

We are definitely living in some interesting times. They will be historical no matter what.

So many #faroutstars!

Last days of the month of me

What should I do today. Work on my stuff. Work on stafford stuff. Work on new things. Work on weekend plans. Work on finishing my book. Work on my health. Work on fun stuff. Work on. Work on. Work on. What will my Monday funday be. Fun fast and furious. Full of memorable moments. Many FarOutStars things to do. What will bring me the joy I want.

Scrivener and Dropbox

Scrivener and Dropbox

https://strangecodex.wordpress.com/2018/02/18/scrivener-and-dropbox/
— Read on strangecodex.wordpress.com/2018/02/18/scrivener-and-dropbox/

I began blogging when he girls were little and Jordan was living with us. I truly enjoyed blogging. It was my online journaling. For several years I blogged then apple and life got in the way. Apple changed their blog software. I didn’t transition over. And focused on other things. Somewhere along the way I had gone to a great conference on interactive media. I was blown away. Learned so much and wanted to implement so much. Upon return I was deflated when everyone around me said that’s not what we should do. So like always I listens to them and didn’t push my ideas and options and focused on what those around me felt were what we should focus on. So as we stop printing after attempting to implement something now that would have been what I was working towards then. I know we jumped on the train too late. Maybe we had too many trains. Maybe we didn’t have the right conductors engineers or coal to make the train move. So what do I do now. Jump on different train. Sit on train and ride for a while. Envision where I want my train in a year or two or five years.