“Say my name!” Heather Heyer Reverend Sekou

Music sucks my soul. I have been in a serious self-preservation mode. Attempting to transition through the many ups downs and all arounds. Sometimes there seems to be so much going on. After returning from a much-needed visit with two dear friends to find my husband not feeling well and my girls dancing to their own music. I had seen a post about a free concert on campus. I had signed up for some tickets. Though I did feel some guilt leaving again. I am so glad I journeyed our on the dreary night to see Reverend Sekou.

He and six piece band and powerful chorus began his night with the song resist.

After explaining that he had been in Charlottesville in August. He explainers that they could not leave the church because their were nazis outside. Such sadness moves through me as he says nazis. I can’t believe some people alighn themselves with such a hateful movement. I thought we had come so far. Unfortunately I think we have seen we have so much more to fight against.

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/if-youre-not-outraged-youre-not-paying-attention-summers-lbkr/

As I remember my father and the many that fought the nazi regime so many moons ago, I am surprised some people can actually justify their hatred by flying confederate flags or marching the streets trying to justify white power. It breaks my heart.

Reverend Sekou was powerful with his voice, movement, passion and fabulous red socks.

https://thinkprogress.org/clergy-in-charlottesville-e95752415c3e/

FROM LEFT: REV. OSAGYEFO SEKOU, LISA SHARON HARPER, REV. CARLTON SMITH, CORNEL WEST, AND OTHERS (INCLUDING SETH WISPELWEY WEARING A WHITE ROBE AND RED STOLE) PROTESTING WHITE SUPREMACY IN CHARLOTTESVILLE. CREDIT: HEATHER WILSON, @ANOMADPHOTOG / DUST & LIGHT PHOTO

Go girls go

I enjoyed letting our day unfold as change from moment to moment. Being open to flex and change or day as it went along. This is not something Chris is good at. He is like others who needs a plan and vision for what we are doing. Whereas sometimes the best days are the ones with nothing specifically planned and letting the day develop around you. So thankful to have an extra two and half days to relax and let my days unfold in Chicago. Taking this time here and there for myself has helped me relax some of the issues that are bringing too much stress to me. Being around two toddlers remind me to cherish the moments for the pass too fast.

Spontaneity

I love it. Not planning every moment is sometimes my favorite. Letting days weekends life flow as it comes is much better then trying to plan every moment and being frustrated because there is little room to evolve. Chris is similar in that they both like to plan. Whereas not planning somethings makes for a better time.

#Faroutstars

As we move about our worlds. People continue to surprise me delight me and piss me off.

This morning I stepped out of my room to stretch and begin to wake for my day. Since I didn’t want to wake my people, I choose to do yoga here there and everywhere.

I happened to be in a space with about six executive men waiting on an uber to get them to the airport so that they could fly off for their day.

Because I was in earshot I could hear their inappropriate phrases about me. In appropriate sexual references, followed by just go out and run why don’t you. As if my private sensitive special places would appreciate their rude condescending egotistical attitude. Instead I continued my practice of peaceful meditation trying to remind myself that I can only be in charge of my emotions and the way in which others comments or behavior affects us. If I were PINK or BETTE, with their balls of steel, or their class of character, I may have walked over to say may the women you love have the voice to say “My precious jewels will not be put down by pricks like you”. GIRLS RULE THIS WORLD!!!!#faroutstars

Girls women Boys and men

Today is international women’s day. As a women what do I want today. What do I want for me and our girls or for my friends and family. I want to believe people will find a way to be kind and work from a place of good and true. Do I always act from a place of good intention. Not 100%. I do believe it’s more good than bad. Like Suess said you will succeed. 98..9% of the time. Or something like that. I fail a bit everyday. But I win a little everyday too. Winning winning! winning! Thanks Charlie sheen. So today I will act from a place of good for me myself and I.

Act from a place of goodness. From strangers to those close to me. How shall I use my time and what do I want for me and our world. So much. More good for our world. #Faroutstars

Fifty things about the Whitehead triplets

1. They are all taller than me. I wish I had two of their inches.

2. Each one has always been kind in all of my interactions with them.

3. When I am speaking with ted or Phil. I am consciously trying to remember which one it is depending on the setting. I am thankful that I always know who I am speaking with when speaking with Ruth!

4. Over the years I have met many Whiteheads. All of my interactions with the Whitehead’s have been positive. Many moons ago Ruth and I grew closer due to a wonderful group of women. Our poker group has been a wonderful group of women. One being Ruth. Over the years our group evolves doing what we can to support laugh and learn from each other. Some day I am confident we will actually play a round or two of poker! If I were a gambler, I would bet Ruth could run the table and take home all the chips.

4. Though I don’t know all of the triplets children. I enjoy hearing what’s going on in their worlds when I get the opportunity.

5. Thank you Gwen for bringing the triplets to us all. A gift you gave to your triplets I sometimes reflect on is their beds to fit them.

6. Many traditions in the Whitehead’s worlds sound so beautiful. Like Sunday dinners. Whenever I drive past their home, I may say a prayer or send positive energy their way, knowing that their positive energy and prayers have moved through Northwest Arkansas for years and will continue to move through NWA for many more.

7. Even though they literally have to talk down to me. I have never felt talked down to in the figurative meaning by them. They are all so knowledgeable in their worlds.

8. I look forward to someday hearing Ruth speak Spanish.

9. I love that the Whitehead’s would appreciate that I worked on a list about them even if I could only get through nine due to my procrastination and last-minute idea.

Chicago chicago.

As I settle in with a Shirley MacLaine and a great bartender, I reminisce. This place was the place of my birth. This place was my home. A home I don’t recall. I have often wondered what was life-like for our family in the Oak Park home. I have heard the stories. I have seen the home. I have known those who loved us during that time. Then my family choose to pack it up and move forward.

My love for Chicago reminds me of our girls love for New Orleans. Though we have never lived there, we know what it means to miss New Orleans.

The mystery of my birth and my beginnings has been more present in my mind in recent years.

As our life transitions for many reasons, I find myself reflecting on the past and attempting to envision what I want for the next journey in my life.

Our family business is transitioning. This transition has brought many stresses and emotions. Some wonder if this stress is what has triggered my interest in my beginnings. Others encourage me to not be afraid of truth. They explain that knowing the truth can be liberating. With theses transitions, I seem to struggle with where to put my energy. IE: Into myself, into our girls into Chris and I’s relationship, into managing the transition of our family business, into finding the right job, into being a more present mother at home or into new business. So many options.

When I was younger, I didn’t want to work at our family business. I thought I would have a career then return to our family business as our parents got older. It seems to be happening in reverse. My dad’s illness brought me into the family business earlier then later. Though I really have been in it from the beginning. The first phone I answered was the Star Shopper phone.

For over twenty years I have put a lot of energy into managing our family business. It has afforded me with many opportunities. We continue to offer some of our services to our community. For now, Chris and I have taken the responsibility of continuing these services. Though we are not publishing anymore the multitude of transitions and services have continued to fill our time.

Penguins.

When I was pregnant with Gigi I watched March of the penguins. So beautiful. So amazing. One of my friends said she watched it when she was pregnant and found it to be sad. I could relate. Being blessed with being pregnant and watching and learning about the life cycle of penguins. Fascinating daunting and pure. As I struggle to sleep I found March of the penguins two. I began watching earlier and was probably awake to see about three minutes. But then something woke me again and I am watching again. In between moments I pray. Pray for my friend who is struggling. And pray for his mother as she prepares for a fight to help him find a way past the struggles he has. Penguins and life can be so heartbreaking. First fight with survival. Just the first of many to come. Knowing my friend has been struggling and must continue to fight to survive. Lots of should have could have would halves. I have felt these feelings before. And know I will feel them again. I hope and pray I will have the chance to visit with my friend again. To tell him I love him. I pray his body can withstand the fight he is in now. I hope he remains a star here on earth for many many more years. I am not ready for him to not be here. I know there is more goodness for him.

Who what where why when.

Talley. crawfish boil. Coffee shop. Why not. Yesterday.

We had two crawfish boils to attend yesterday. Jordans and Emery’s.

A bit cold for crawfish.

I was so happy to see where Jordan lives and meet his friends. He is such a wonderful young man. Every time I get to hang out or visit with him. I want to hang more. I feel this weird feeling of trying to impose ourselves in his life. I imagine it’s might be how my mom has always explained not wanting to intrude in her children’s lives unless invited. Though I feel a sadness that my mom lives around the corner and we barely see her. So on one hand yes it’s great that she doesn’t show up everyday. But every once in a while she could stop by. Especially when she drives by when we are on the street. I know she is such a focused driver but it is pretty funny when she drives by the street gang and doesn’t even wave. I feel guilt that she may feel the same way about us living so close and rarely stopping by. I know someday I will regret not spending more time to know and love her. It seems to be a common theme. Looking back thinking I should have spent more time with …. before their was no time to share with them because they passed. Should have could have would have.

Kyle rode with us to Rogers. More time with Kyle brings more love for him. On our way there he turned off the radio and said you know what I like to listen to is nothing on the radio. On my deathbed I want to remember the conversations. What a powerful reminder. Who knew Kyle was so smart. Though he shocked the shit out of me when I was a young girl. I can probably still blush thinking of his watch. I was so naive and modest. I was so shocked. I didn’t know what to think of this powerful force. One of the greatest gifts I have found are these friendships that have been for almost more than half of my life. Knowing each other in our younger days and now knowing and loving each other’s families. Chris working with will today was so precious and reminded me of how much patience he has with teaching others what he loves. Like fishing and handyman stuff. The things I know he learned from Pawpaw. Both Farnet men are pretty special.