We had a great night celebrating the HAAS Hall 2018 graduates. As I see these children set out to find their futures. It’s exciting and frightening on so many levels. The world is waiting. We know they will have ups downs and all arounds. All we can pray for is that they have more good experience than bad experiences. They are all such #faroutstars! Theses Boys and Girls will rule our world!
Thankful to be in the Arkansas Capitol on a Leadership Fayetteville trip. Because of this trip, I realized that another gun bill had been presented. unfortunately, I had been a bit out of touch and had not been aware of this bill. Once I looked into the bill, I realized that there had been lots of coverage. When the bill was introduced another Arkansas representatives responses made this bill a national viral issue. It is surprising to me that Ballinger feels justified to have submitted this bill. I do hope that the majority of our representatives and our citizens are against this kind of gun legislation. See links below to follow Arkansas Legislations and some of the coverage about #HB1694
I started to explain that many adoptees are like that — afraid to speak up for themselves, eager to please and so desperate to be liked that they stuff their own feelings in favor of everyone else’s.
Your history defines who you are. You need to know it. What I find out as a result of searching is going to help me one way or another. When I’m dying I don’t want to be thinking I should have looked for my family. ”
Who? What? Where? When? So many questions have moved through my brain in so many ways. Who Are My parents and family? What made them decide to put me up for adoption? Where are they now? Dead? Alive? Looking for me? Will our worlds connect someday or not?
At different ages, my who? what? where? when? questions played out different answers. I had a variety of questions, answers and the mysteries that my brain explored as an adoptee. When I was a teenage, I questioned what my mother looked like. I had a strong desire to see someone who I may look like someday. It seemed to be attributed to physical appearances in my adolescence phase. I had a strong desire to see my mother. Even if it was from afar. It was like I wanted to see her across the room or across a parking lot. I wanted to see her but didn’t want to be seen. I almost wanted to spy. So I could see what she looked like? Could I see any similarities? Would I like what I saw?
I didn’t feel like I wanted much more than to see and visualize family. See people who looked like me. See others that gestured or moved like me. So many times, I would have people say you look so much like …… I can’t deny that made me envision others like me. Maybe siblings, aunts or others who favored my appearances and behaviors.
I then grew older, met others who had given a child up for adoption and felt a connection to these people. I felt a need to help those who adopted to know that adoption is good. I had a desire to meet my parents and let them know adoptions had been a good thing. I wanted to express gratitude. Though at sometimes, I recognize that I didn’t always want to be thankful. I wanted to know more of where my birth family had gone and how they were doing in whatever worlds they lived.