How many social media apps are there? 200+. More developing daily.

When I first went to the interactive media conference I was blown away by information. It was soo exciting. I was fired up and had all kinds of ideas.

I came back and was immediately questioned by others in my work world. Who said that’s not what Facebook is for?

It took the wind out of my sails. I was discouraged frustrated and pretty much gave up. Trying to explore new ideas to transition our business to the world it needed to be in.

Instead I did what others did. Keep doing things the same. Knowing our business’s death would come. 13 year and the Star Shopper died.

Burnout was high as I worked at the STAR SHOPPER. My Finical adviser sent me a book about finding your passion in life. I know others got frustrated by my exhausting bitching, morning and complaining.

For what ever reason I feel a bit regenerated to try to create something that is more meaningful. Trying to find joy more.

Will tiktok be a part of it?!

Fayetteville police officer ride along.

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When I was getting ready today my thoughts were new. As I dressed I thought of the uniform an officer wears everyday. In the mornings as I get ready for my day I have the freedom to pick what suits the day best depending on the weather, the tasks at hand and what will fit. If I am working outside I can dress accordingly. Meetings usually require less causal.

During my normal getting ready for the day I am often thinking of my tasks for the day. Prioritizing my responsibilities. Considering roadblocks they may alter my day and distract from what needs to get done.

As I prepared for my day to ride along with a police officer, I allowed myself to think what may go through officers minds as they ready for the day. Are they more apt to not think of the upcoming day as what may lie ahead. Knowing that their days unfold a variety of ways each day and must be prepared for whatever happens. They know their training, knowledge will give them the tools necessary to face their responsibilities. I imagine faith helps many of them to know that they have what it takes to serve our city each day.

The office I am riding with is Jonathan Harris. This stumbles me right off the bar. Because this officer is Pat to me. He is married to my niece. I have had the join of meeting him when he was young, seeing him fall in love with my precious niece. I remember when he enlisted into the military. Being so proud of him but scared for him as well.


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Learn more about joining the Fayetteville Police Department!

Mother’s Day•AP Testing•Snapchat Fun!

IMG_6629 Gigi working hard on Mother’s Day to prepare for AP tests.  AP tests were not in my world as a child.  My girls impress me that they have challenged themselves with these AP classes.  They have worked hard in these classes and maintained themselves.  Renee and Gigi are hopefully that they score three or above.  Whatever they score, I am proud of them for the dedication and determination to push themselves.  They impress me on a daily basis!

IMG_6624Renee worked on tie-dying t-shirts for her friends.  She is giving them t-shirts in honor of her birthday. Renee said “I guess that I just like giving gifts”.  What a wonderful lesson she has learned so early.  Giving can be rewarding and give to yourself as you give to others.

Now for some laughs watch the videos below:


Class of 2018


We had a great night celebrating the HAAS Hall 2018 graduates. As I see these children set out to find their futures. It’s exciting and frightening on so many levels. The world is waiting. We know they will have ups downs and all arounds. All we can pray for is that they have more good experience than bad experiences. They are all such #faroutstars! Theses Boys and Girls will rule our world!


Thankful to be in the Arkansas Capitol on a Leadership Fayetteville trip. Because of this trip, I realized that another gun bill had been presented.  unfortunately, I had been a bit out of touch and had not been aware of this bill.  Once I looked into the bill, I realized that there had been lots of coverage.  When the bill was introduced another Arkansas representatives responses made this bill a national viral issue.  It is surprising to me that Ballinger feels justified to have submitted this bill.  I do hope that the majority of our representatives and our citizens are against this kind of gun legislation.  See links below to follow Arkansas Legislations and some of the coverage about #HB1694





my feelings come last!

Let’s Stop Making Adoptees Ask Permission to Know Who They Are

I started to explain that many adoptees are like that — afraid to speak up for themselves, eager to please and so desperate to be liked that they stuff their own feelings in favor of everyone else’s.

Your history defines who you are. You need to know it. What I find out as a result of searching is going to help me one way or another. When I’m dying I don’t want to be thinking I should have looked for my family. ”

Who? What? Where? When?  So many questions have moved through my brain in so many ways.   Who Are My parents and family?  What made them decide to put me up for adoption?  Where are they now?  Dead? Alive? Looking for me?  Will our worlds connect someday or not?

At different ages, my who? what? where? when? questions played out different answers. I had a variety of questions, answers and the mysteries that my brain explored as an adoptee.    When I was a teenage, I questioned what my mother looked like.  I had a strong desire to see someone who I may look like someday.  It seemed to be attributed to physical appearances in my adolescence phase.  I had a strong desire to see my mother. Even if it was from afar.  It was like I wanted to see her across the room or across a parking lot.  I wanted to see her but didn’t want to be seen.  I almost wanted to spy.  So I could see what she looked like?  Could I see any similarities?  Would I like what I saw?

I didn’t feel like I wanted much more than to see and visualize family.   See people who looked like me.  See others that gestured or moved like me.   So many times, I would have people say you look so much like ……    I can’t deny that made me envision others like me.  Maybe siblings, aunts or others who favored my appearances and behaviors.

I then grew older, met others who had given a child up for adoption and felt a connection to these people.  I felt a need to help those who adopted to know that adoption is good.  I had a desire to meet my parents and let them know adoptions had been a good thing.  I wanted to express gratitude.  Though at sometimes, I recognize that I didn’t always want to be thankful.  I wanted to know more of where my birth family had gone and how they were doing in whatever worlds they lived.

Analog-dial up-fiber lines

My great-grandmother and my grandmother lived for 103 Years.   I often thought of all the inventions, changes that occurred throughout their lives.

My great-grandmother was supposed to go the movies the day the theater in Chicago caught fire. The fire that changed the way our doors open forever!

My grandmother spoke of remembering the day the Artemis was signed.   The streets were alive.  They could ride the street cars for FREE.    Everyone was happy!

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Recently, I was visiting with a group of leaders in our community.

Technology advancements were being discussed.

I asked the group if any of them had read 1984.

None of them recalled reading them.  I explained how so many of the things we all found hard to believe and a bit scary have come to fruition.

When Steve spoke of his love of Diet DR. Pepper and the technology advancements that help him find the local sales on his favorite drink of choice seemed infectious.

I recall reading 1984 and discussing some of the science fiction that it described of the future.   On so many levels being tracked seemed creepy and alarming.  Discussing governments involvement in the abilities to watch people seemed concerning.

I am sure reading 1984 again would be fascinating.

Knowing that so many of the things that seemed so hard to believe have been developed.  The trick is to look at the positivity of the advancements and not be overwhelmed by some of the creepy sides of it.   I often say “I have a mixed relationship with technology”  “I love and hate my smart phone”.    Sometimes I daydream of a life where I am not so dialed in and on always.   Actually turning off the devices and enjoying sometime without the devices.   I am glad to not be a smoker anymore, though the phone addiction at times seems worse.   Luckily my lungs may be not affected in the same way as the cigarettes affected them.   The phone may be creating other stressors and strains.   The anxiety of “where’s my phone” is almost as stressful as “Dude, where’s my car? or Dude, where are my keys?”   The anxiety I see in our children about their phones is frightening on many levels.   The addiction they already experience is alarming.  Boundary setting is tough.   Especially as parents who struggle to set their own boundaries.

So on one hand, I want to unplug, disconnect and reconnect with the life before devices.  And on the other I want to plug-in, sign up and explore all that is developing around me.

Recently I was working from home, someone came to the door.  I was on the phone. Never heard the doorbell.  I thought that they were probably Mormons ignoring the No solicitation sign.  Eventually I went to the door, to find that they were door to door sales people.   Fiber lines were what made me glad that I had gone to the door.    By opening the door and inviting them inside, I found my way to many things that we had chosen to not have in our lives for so long.     By signing up with Vivint for a new security system, I can get Fiber lines as soon as they go live in our area.    Our home is currently getting 8-mps.  We are paying for 100 mps!  Since we are now working from home more and more. The 8-mps is very problematic.

So now we will have new security, dish TV and FIBER lines.

The company paid out my previous security contract!  Which was a lot of money.    I can’t get the FIBER lines fast enough.   A little bummed to add back another utility bill.   Embrace what it brings not what we lose.  So we loose more money each month.  Though we will have Saints games again!  Our children have actually come out of their rooms to watch TV.  Therefore, I must not give them username and password for the Direct TV.  If they have usernames and passwords, we loose them to their screens.  So yes we are lost to the TV screen.  But sometimes checking out in front of a screen is just what I need to decompress, reconnect and relax.

Security Systems Fiber Lines